Kataomoi At Last
by Luffel
Summary: [SKE48 AKB48 - WMatsui] A retelling of the marvelous PV Kataomoi Finally.
1. Chapter 1

Solitude had always been a natural state to Matsui Rena. Her family urged her to go out more and spend time with friends; her teachers called her too quiet; her peers considered her a lone wolf. Yet none of their opinions mattered to Rena as long as she could find refuge in her own little 2D world. It was these precious moments spent with her manga and anime characters that she did not feel so lonely after all.

A few weeks into the new school year she had yet to make any noteworthy contact with her classmates. Not that they had been anything but welcoming. Some girls had tried to approach her now and then for a little friendly chatter or even asked her to accompany them to the cafeteria, yet on instinct Rena could never stammer anything but a polite decline. Unable to handle the awkwardness that the unusual proximity might bring she preferred to spend the break between classes alone, reading a book or simply indulging in daydreams.

Perhaps she did not totally reject the idea of getting along better with other people, she thought. She merely felt unable to relate to her peers more often than not. It was as if their lives and her own life took place in different worlds, as if nothing of importance to them could ever seem relevant to herself. Consequently any contact remained mostly superficial. Of course, a good deal of shyness and introversion didn't help the matter either.

Not that it had been any different in her former school.

Although her family has always lived in the Aichi prefecture it was only recently that they decided to move to its capital Nagoya for the benefit of her parents' job situation. They were able to delay the relocation until Rena had completed the first year of high school, yet changing schools had in the end been inevitable for her. Beginning from her second year of high school she would now be enrolled into Nagoya's all-girls school Sakae Gakuen.

Not that she was the type to keep many close friends to begin with, yet unlike her all of her new classmates already had the chance to establish ties during their first school year together. Hence most of them often chose to stay within their own clique in school, making the thought of approaching them even more unsettling for Rena.

Rena's musings were interrupted by the sound of the bell before the teacher sent them off to the break. Hustle filled the classroom as the students began rushing out for lunch. Absently-minded Rena packed up her school supplies before grabbing her bag and leaving for her next destination.

Being all too aware of her reclusiveness her mother had tried talking her into joining a school club, believing that sharing a hobby would make it easier for her daughter to open up to new people. Albeit the thought of spending her free time in school instead of home with her manga did not quite appeal to her, she had finally given in to the nagging. Reluctantly she promised to at least find out what different clubs her school had to offer.

Rena entered the wing of the school building that was mostly reserved for extracurricular student activities. Although some students chose to spend the noon break in their respective club rooms most of the activities were usually held after school, leaving this area somewhat abandoned at that particular time.

Silently her eyes browsed bulletin boards and announcements, taking in information and searching. Secretly she had been hoping to find a 2D-related club, one of the few things that she could actually call a big hobby of hers. She has heard that some larger schools might offer some, yet most clubs here seemed to focus on sports, arts and music. Contemplating and pondering she yet came to the conclusion that none of these felt really fit for her right now.

She could not deny that her mother had a point when suggesting that she opened up more to her classmates. An inaudible sigh escaped her. For the time being however she did not feel up to the task of approaching strangers.

Her hand instinctively found its way to her stomach as it reminded her that she should make good use of lunchtime before the end of the break. Instead of going to the cafeteria she decided to find a quiet spot to eat her own homemade Bento. As she stepped down the stairs and out into the schoolyard she finally allowed her mind to drift off again.

She wasn't sure what had led her to that place on this particular day. Perhaps it was the essence of blooming spring that overwhelmed all of her senses; perhaps it was the slightest breeze that offered refreshment in contrast to the warming sunrays, or maybe it was simply coincidence. Without thinking where her legs might carry her she found her way to the school garden. It was only recently that she had learned about the true extent of the school grounds, yet she found herself returning every so often. Between well-kept flowerbeds and hedges the area felt more like an extensive city park to her than part of an educational establishment. Rena was honestly surprised that so little students took the opportunity to spend their break there more often instead of staying inside.

With no clear destination in mind she finally came upon a somewhat secluded area of the garden, partially hidden away by hedges. Right in the middle a majestic cherry tree covered the ground with a layer of pink blossoms, painting a picture that in Rena's opinion was nothing less but breathtaking.

Deciding that she had found the perfect place she moved towards the shady spot below the tree. Captivated by the mood she took in a deep breath in pure appreciation of the scenery. As she closed her eyes she allowed the scent of spring to encompass her senses.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize this spot was occupied." a slightly rushed voice suddenly sounded behind her making Rena turn around with shock.

"Not, not at all, I'm sorry, I just got here." she replied hastily towards the other girl that had just entered the secluded garden area.

Rena raised her head cautiously to face the other student and couldn't help but take in her features. Her straight raven hair was well-groomed and cut short at her chin level. Defined cheekbones gave her face a very accented and mature look while her lips curled slightly into what resembled a mischievous Cheshire grin. What seemed out of the ordinary the most at the moment though was her blue school uniform in sharp contrast to Rena's own wine red one.

She was met with beautiful brown eyes that conveyed a feeling of self-confidence yet made Rena shift slightly under her gaze.

"I didn't mean to disturb you." the other girl began.

"It's fine. The garden belongs to all students after all." Rena mused with a small smile playing on her lips.

"Is that so?" she replied. "Would you then mind if I joined you here for lunch?"

Before her usual uneasiness was able to kick in she felt herself shake her head lightly. "It's fine."

Both girls kneeled down on the lawn and unpacked their Bento boxes.

"Were you just hiding from something?" Rena tried to ask jokingly in a friendly manner.

"Perhaps something like that." the other girl grinned as well. "But in fact I just like to savor this garden's quietness from time to time."

"I understand that well." Rena shifted uncomfortable, wondering if it was okay to disclose her own appreciation of its solitude.

"What about you then?"

"I guess I too prefer spending the break in peace from time to time." she finally replied honestly. Usually the thought of admitting her quirks did not feel well to her, but perhaps the other girl would actually be able to relate since she herself chose to seek out this isolated place. "I actually just discovered how large the school garden is." she continued.

"You must be a new student then. I'm pretty sure I would have recognized you otherwise."

"Yes, I just transferred here starting this year." Rena explained.

"I see. Either way I'm pleased to see more tall girls here."

"Eeh?" Before Rena's mind was able to process how to take this compliment the other girl continued talking. "Let me then introduce myself properly. I'm Matsui Jurina and in the third year of middle school."

Rena's eyes widened. "Middle schoo-?" This girl was actually two years younger than her? She definitely looked mature for her age and judging by her looks Rena could have sworn she must be a senior student.

Assuming Rena did not know about the nature of the school she continued her explanation: "Sakae Gakuen actually comprehends both a middle school and a high school. The classes are held in different buildings but the school grounds are shared and open to every student."

"I see." Rena straightened her posture. "I'm Matsui Rena, originally from the Aichi prefecture, now in second year of high school."

"Rena-san it is then? To think that we meet here and even share the same family name." the younger girl joked with a grin growing on her features. The way she beamed at her Rena found it almost impossible not to smile along with her. "Please don't hesitate to ask if you want to know something about the school."

"Thank you, I appreciate it." Rena replied delightedly.

They both resumed eating lunch.

"I was wondering... Do you find it hard? Being the new girl around?" The younger girl's unfaltering gaze met her own as if she could wordlessly understand that joining after the first school year must make things much harder for her.

"Everyone needs some time at first." Rena answered in a diplomatic manner.

"Still, no one should spend their whole school life alone." the younger Matsui returned. Rena met her look in an attempt to read her reasoning, wondering whether the other girl had already seen through the reason she was walking the garden grounds on her own.

"It's okay; I'm good at managing on my own." Rena smiled politely. Pausing for a second she then decided to let Jurina in on her recent plan. "Actually I was considering joining a school club..." she admitted.

A wide smile crossed the charming girl's lips as if she witnessed exactly what she had been waiting for. "That's great to hear then. Have you already considered which club to join?"

Upon that Rena averted her gaze again. "I am not sure yet."

"I am trying out the athletics and the dancing club at the moment. Would you like to join us?" the younger girl proposed.

"I am probably not very sporty and certainly not an outstanding performer." Rena replied while at the same time condemning her own negativity.

"Seriously? Somehow I got this feeling that you have the potential to become someone that people would look up to on stage."

Believing that she has heard wrong Rena's eyes locked onto Jurina's again, searching for irony or the tiniest hint of a friendly joke, yet the middle schooler's gaze spoke of nothing but sincerity.

At a loss for words she slowly felt the warmth rising to her cheeks. Eventually she managed to murmur a reply: "I think...that would be bit too fast right now."

Jurina's face broke into a light but warming smile again. "I'm sorry, it's your own choice after all." she stated apologetically.

Still drawn in by the beautiful girl's features she could no longer think of anything to add, yet somehow found it completely unnecessary in appreciation of the serene mood between them.

Once they both finished their Bento Jurina began to rise from the lawn. "Well then. Classes will start again shortly and I still need to walk over to our school building."

Still entranced by their earlier conversation Rena felt a tinge of regret at the thought of this moment coming to an end. She wanted to reply to Jurina in an adequate manner, to keep her from leaving, to do anything that would allow herself to linger a bit longer in this feeling. Yet all she could muster was a weak nod followed by a quiet response: "I see."

What was this feeling of loneliness all of sudden?

Discontentment began to fill her at her own inability of voicing her innermost feelings. Jurina observed her a bit longer and Rena suddenly began to dread that her own regret could be read way too easily.

"By the way, Rena-san..." the younger Matsui then spoke up. "Will you have lunch again with me?" she requested, her face showing her charming dimples.

Although usually timid by nature Rena found it simply beyond possible to not be mesmerized by the way the other girl was beaming at her. Allured by these eyes glistening so full of expectation she was finally persuaded and felt her face forming into the first wholehearted smile in what felt like a long time. "I will."

"Great, I'll be seeing you tomorrow then." Jurina replied joyfully before turning to leave. For reasons still not totally comprehensible to herself Rena found herself accomplished. It was a few minutes later that she realized she had been staring at nothing in particular yet without that smirk ever leaving her face since. Reminding herself that she too had to return to class soon she reluctantly gathered her empty bento and her bag before dreamily making her way back to the building.

If asked purposefully she probably wouldn't have been able to describe her state of emotions. Although she was usually careful around people and not an outstanding conversational partner, she had somehow felt exceptionally at ease with Jurina.

During afternoon class she found it harder than usual to listen to the teacher. Images of that accented face of a certain girl began to enter her mind over and over again. Yes, she wanted to meet Jurina again, to talk to her, to be with her. And though she could not fully comprehend the change in her usual avoiding attitude she was still not frightened by what she might be feeling.

Tomorrow couldn't come any faster.

Their shared lunch quickly became a daily ritual for the Matsui girls. Rena was surprised how quickly the time passed when they talked about school life or nothing of importance at all. Steadily she found herself become dependent on the other girl's company. Even when spending time with her 2D hobbies at home she somehow felt the need to talk to Jurina again, to be simply close to her. Every so often she caught herself grinning as images of the charming girl had successfully invaded her mind again.

In some silent moments however she felt herself in doubt. It was simply beyond her comprehension why Jurina would choose to spend her time with her of all people. Perhaps the other Matsui simply had trouble relating to other people as well? This explanation would usually put her own mind at ease again for the time being. Perhaps she had indeed found someone like-minded to herself this time.

On that particular afternoon her mother had asked Rena to run some errands after school. Instead of going home directly she crossed the schoolyard to leave school into the other direction. Her way led her by the school's sport facilities where PE classes were usually held. Although it was quite late in the afternoon the running track seemed still busy and bustling. Unless some classes were taking place that late Rena assumed that it probably was in use by the school clubs.

When a bunch of high-pitched squealing voices were heard Rena's curiosity finally got the better of her. Wondering what the ruckus was about she made her way over to the running track and leaned onto the railing.

It became obvious that some sort of competition just had come to an end and an excited group of fangirls had stormed the terrain to celebrate the winner. Circling their target of affection in hope of receiving that tiniest amount of attention they followed said girl around obediently with every step. Rena smiled in amusement and was just about to turn away when the wall of fangirls cleared and revealed the identity of the victorious athlete.

Rena's eyes widened as well-known charming dimple smiled was flashed towards the girls. It was no other person than Jurina.

Her grip on the railing tightened yet she was unable to tear away her eyes from the scene. What was this unsettling feeling inside her all of sudden? Seeing Jurina taking the spotlight and showering these girls with her own attention in return left herself feel uneasy. Rena found herself wishing that the other girls would disappear, that she could talk to Jurina in private again, that no one else could make her behave like this.

Still surrounded by dozens of girls Jurina eventually paused and let her gaze wander around the track, unfazed by the attention she was still receiving. Most likely it was pure coincidence but her roaming eyes suddenly came to a halt as she spotted Rena by the railing. It was undeniable that she had just gained the younger girl's attention. Her features suddenly broke into a smirk as a small greeting to Rena. Before the other girls could notice their star's absent-mindedness she then returned her focus to them once again.

Still irritated by the scene she witnessed Rena's eyes dropped while she bit her own lip slightly. Although she wanted so very much to dissolve this feeling of awkwardness she felt incapable of handling the current situation in an adequate manner. Finally convinced that she couldn't face any confrontation right now she turned away and left the school behind.

That evening Rena began to feel upset with her own rough judgment of the earlier situation, yet seeing Jurina surrounded by all these girls felt so unlike everything she had ever experienced herself in life as she had never been the popular type to begin with.

She was wrong, she was nothing like Jurina. As the ace of the athletics team the other Matsui could possibly pick about anyone from school as a friend. Why of all people would she then hang out with Rena? Why would she be as happy to be close to her as Rena was with Jurina?

Failure began to consume her. And how on Earth could she get her hopes up and believe that she would grow close to someone that easily? In the end there was no one else but herself to be angry with.

Unknowing why she reacted to strongly about this incident she had a much harder time falling asleep that night. During morning classes she felt unwell and restless and yet did not want them to come to an end as it would mean facing Jurina.

How would she be able to approach her again? What would she even say to her knowing that they existed in two totally different worlds? Would the other girl even be waiting for her at their usual spot below the cherry tree after how harsh Rena had treated her the day before?

The longer she thought about it, the more guilty and silly she felt for even questioning Jurina's friendship, yet she wasn't able to shake off this looming sense of insecurity.

Rena considered excuses, reasons why she would not be able to attend lunch, only to find that she couldn't come up with any valid ones after they had been meeting there every single day since their first encounter.

That day she was walking over to the garden much more slowly, as if postponing the futile would change the outcome in any way.

Jurina was already sitting in the tree's shadow. Of course. Like every day.

"Rena-san!" As usual her face creased into a big smile at the sight of her.

Rena tried to act in a usual manner as she greeted her back before sitting down across Jurina. Unable to think of how to begin, or to decide whether anything was even wrong to begin with, she yet yearned to make things right again, to go back to the day before yesterday.

Both took out their lunches and began eating as usual.

Rena was still unsure how to approach the topic in a nonchalant way, yet Jurina beat her to it as she seemed to take in the mood. Her face turned into a slight frown. "Are you alright?" she inquired carefully.

"I've been wondering..." Rena took the chance to explain. "Why don't you prefer eating lunch together with the others at the cafeteria?" she tried to tackle the matter in a subtle way.

"Hmm?"

Rena could not meet her gaze. "You seem to know quite a lot of people in school."

"What makes you say that?"

"Yesterday...I didn't know athletics was so popular around here." Rena replied but soon regretted it as if she has already said too much at that point.

Jurina pondered for a moment but apparently took the hint. "Those girls tend to get excited easily, but that doesn't mean anything. In fact, it sometimes becomes a bit too much for me too and I just need some space for myself, at least during the breaks from classes."

Although not satisfied Rena felt herself nod slowly. She sensed Jurina's piercing her but tried to ignore it and focused instead on picking a piece of egg with the chopsticks from the Bento.

"But to be honest..." Jurina suddenly continued making Rena raise her head again. "I simply don't know. Being here together with you is something I've come to value more than anything."

Rena's eyes abruptly met Jurina's again. There it was again, that air of confidence, that look of sincerity that had always drawn her in. Yet she wasn't capable of simply believing what she wanted to be true so much. Self-doubt was too much of a habit, too much of a part of her life to disregard it now so easily. Why would anyone ever prefer her companionship like this? Why would Jurina of all people choose to be together with her instead of the more interesting students?

Not believing her ears she felt her lips move on her own. "I don't want to be a burden to y-"

"I like spending time with you." she stated boldly and straightly to the point as she set her Bento down to the ground. "And I like you, Rena-chan." she added in a more gentle voice.

It was that moment that all her doubts suddenly disappeared into oblivion. Nothing of it mattered anymore as long as these striking brown eyes where fixed on her. Rena's hands instinctively found their way to cover her mouth. Feeling her heart flutter anew she wanted to tell Jurina thousands of things, to reveal her innermost feelings to her, but in the end everything could only be bundled into a single breathless reply: "I feel the same."

Jurina grinned wide in accomplishment.

"Well then, Rena-chan. Will you go out with me?"


	2. Chapter 2

Wallet and keys - check. Skirt straightened - check. Hair neat and in order - double-check. Despite her scarce wardrobe she managed to fuss over an hour before reluctantly settling on what to wear for the day. That particular Sunday. Shouldn't she put on something more fancy than usual for that special opportunity? Shouldn't she honor this special occasion and go for something less mundane than her usual style?

The door clicked shut as Rena left the house. "11 a.m. in front of the mall." she echoed her companion's words to herself again.

It was 10:45 when she arrived. If anything the weekend left the mall even more bustling, yet Rena was totally oblivious to her surroundings and let her mind wander. With plenty of time remaining there was literally nothing left to do except to ponder her current situation all over again.

Jurina had proposed that she joined her to spend the noon with her in town. She quickly added the excuse that she still needed to purchase the required reading for their literature class without actually sounding too apologetic about it. Rena didn't need a better reason. She felt thrilled and more than willing to meet the other girl outside of school as well. And she had to admit that she felt flustered that the other girl wanted to spend time with her like this.

Embarrassed by getting her own hopes up she scolded herself. 'It's not a date, right?'

Nevertheless she couldn't help but growing more anxious the closer the proposed time came. Shouldn't she have made plans how to spend their time at the mall? Didn't she need some kind of reason to extend their stay there?

She slightly bit her own lip in doubt. Would Jurina grow bored of her presence quickly and go home again after her purchase? What if-

"Rena-chan, good day!" Her musings were interrupted as a familiar grin popped up in front of her.

"Jurina, hello!" she beamed back at her.

"I hope you haven't been waiting too long."

"I just arrived here." she lied, not wanting to cause any uneasiness.

"You are looking gorgeous in these clothes, I like them." the cheerful girl suddenly pointed out.

That's it. Thirty seconds into their encounter Jurina already had her blushing again. Being capable of alluring people and drawing them in with her charm easily seemed to be in her nature.

Rena too took a moment to take in the sight of the other girl and felt awestruck. It was her first time seeing her without a school uniform and in her opinion her style of clothing enhanced her collected, slightly handsome aura even more.

"I really like your outfit too." She replied and felt relieved when she was rewarded by a pleased grin.

Just as she was contemplating whether to take the lead and suggest their first destination Jurina motioned her to follow: "Let's go."

Rena gave a happy hum in confirmation and trailed along.

Talking to Jurina in school had always felt natural to her, yet she couldn't help but feel a little stiff at first. After all they should discuss something else than class matters on their first meeting outside of school, right? All of worries however dissolved into oblivion soon. Jurina was more than accommodating in carrying the conversation, even if the older girl didn't think much of giving wordy replies.

Visiting the bookstore not only let Jurina pick up her desired book but also gave Rena the opportunity to purchase the newest volume of her latest manga obsession, Shingeki no Kyojin, much to the other girl's amusement. Time flew by as Jurina happily led the way through the mall, stopping at showcases now and then and infecting Rena with her enthusiastic nature. Afternoon was progressing as they stopped by the local game center. While Rena didn't stand a chance against the other Matsui's competitive nature in any of the racing games, she yet felt that she was wholeheartedly having fun for once in her life.

Taking a break they strolled further along the mall's floors until suddenly a mouth-watering scent reached Rena's senses. Her eyes immediately located a nearby bakery and were glued to the sight of melonpans in the windows. Jurina marveled what had stopped her companion and followed her gaze. She smirked teasingly. "Are you...by any chance hungry?"

Fulfillment ran through her as she let the divine taste linger on her tongue. If one kind of food was to be served in heaven it had to be this particular one, Rena thought as she munched the sweetened bread.

For a moment she had forgotten all about Jurina who was sitting across her, staring at her in amusement with a grin steadily growing on her features. Rena felt her cheeks flare up.

"You really love melonpan." she stated the obvious.

"It's my favorite food and my daily source of energy, I need to eat one at least once a day." She felt kind of embarrassed to admit her tic. "I loved buying them from this bakery chain in my hometown as well. They always manage to give the melonpans that soft texture while yet retaining a perfect amount of sweetness and-" She stopped when she realized that she was babbling and mentally scolded herself for letting her dorky self shine through. "It's a bit quirky, isn't it?" she smiled more shyly now.

"I like people with a gap." came the straightforward reply before Jurina took a sip of her coffee.

Did she just hear right?

"It's not that noteworthy." Rena tried to avert the topic as she returned her gaze to her plate. She felt a tug on her heart as her voice grew slightly more serious. "To be honest, I was a bit nervous about today. I have never really met with people outside of school, yet I am really enjoying myself today. Being here like this...is really pleasant to me." she tried to convey her appreciation for the younger girl's company.

A moment of silence passed between them as she dared raising her head to meet Jurina's expressive eyes. "I feel the same. It's rare for me to have so much fun." she replied honestly. "Yet being together with you somehow makes me really happy."

All flushed Rena abruptly started munching on her melonpan again.

The walk home was spent in comfortable silence. Usually Rena was the person to be troubled over her own quietness with other people and felt the need to speak up, afraid that awkwardness might fill the situation. Yet none of her worries mattered anymore right now as she shyly held Jurina's hand.

She loved talking to Jurina and loved hearing her speak even more. Yet being able to remain silent together was something she valued over everything else in the world. It hinted at a deeper mutual understanding between two people that no longer needed any words.

They lazily kept strolling into the general direction of Rena's home, lingering as if both of them were unwilling to relinquish this day to the sunset. Or perhaps the latter conclusion only happened in Rena's mind.

Their parting was yet inevitable as they reached their destination.

"Well then, Rena-chan, see you in school tomorrow." Jurina smiled as she pulled her into a gentle hug. "Thank you for today."

Rena wanted to reply, to articulate her thankfulness in an appropriate manner, to convey how much Jurina's friendship meant to her by now, to make her stay, anything; still she could only muster a weak answer: "See you tomorrow, Jurina."

Rena entered her own room and let herself fall onto the bed, not caring enough to turn the light on. She remained immobile as she kept staring at the ceiling, the excitement of the day slowly leaving her body.

She yearned to be able to speak her mind more often, yet her words had failed her again as Jurina had gone home.

Rena was unaware of how much time had passed as she finally gathered her courage and retrieved her phone from her bag. The screen's glaring light illuminated the room as she started typing a mail. "Jurina, I had a lot of fun with you today and I really want to see you again. Thank you for being part of my life now."

The message was sent and Rena stared blankly at the phone.

The screen suddenly lighted up again and she hastily read the reply.

"I feel the same. Meet me at the usual spot tomorrow."

Rena could only grin widely in response. Suddenly feeling all giddy inside she let her body sink to the sheets again. Usually she was far too embarrassed to indulge in such a silly girlish behavior, yet all doubt was rendered meaningless as she got entranced by the overwhelming feeling of bliss.

Never had she looked more forward to a school Monday.

If anyhow possible time trickled down even more slowly on that particular day. Finally morning classes came to an end and Rena hurried to the school garden, not minding one bit what other students might think of her.

The warmth of late spring enveloped her as she arrived. Jurina was already waiting for her at the shady spot below the cherry tree.

In silent understanding they rushed forwards to greet each other and Rena couldn't help but feel drawn in by that body close to her.

As they stood across each other the charming girl eventually spoke up again: "Take a deep breath now." she smiled only mysteriously.

Rena's eyes widened in anticipation and once more she felt captivated by that mesmerizing gaze of hers.

As Jurina slowly leaned in towards her lips Rena did never once faltered.

It was there in their secret garden, their sanctuary, that both of them finally shared their first kiss.


	3. Chapter 3

Their panting remained unheard as it was swallowed by the unrelenting plashing of a heavy downpour. All was left was the image of two figures rushing through the torrent in search of an escape.

Rena had long given up on shielding her hair from the rain as every part of her body was long drenched beyond salvation. All she now focused on was keeping a tight hold on her younger companion's hand which steadily dragged her along, urging her to run even faster. Despite their unfortunate situation it occurred to Rena that her grip felt even warmer than usual in contrast to the coldish conditions around them.

Both Matsuis had been out in the park, enjoying the warm evening of a beginning summer before a thunderstorm overcame Nagoya without a warning. As they finally found a shelter to shield themselves from the rain their clothes were already soaked thoroughly. Breathlessly they both kept staring up at the clouded sky as suddenly a chilly wind gust pierced their wet skin. Both had to realize that staying outside all drenched like this would only make them more likely to catch a cold. Rather abruptly Rena felt Jurina grab her hand, prompting her to follow along through the rain.

Never once did they let go of their clasped hands until reaching their destination, Jurina's home. From the lack of light inside Rena had guessed that her parents were most likely out of town again. Fumbling with the keys the younger Matsui then finally allowed them entrance to their shelter.

Rena sat down on Jurina's bed and pulled the covers around her shoulders in an attempt to regain body heat. After drying herself she had replaced her own wet clothes with a loose spare t-shirt and some casual shorts Jurina had offered her. In pondering silence she now observed the dimly lit room around her with the only background sound stemming from the hairdryer in the bathroom. With the agitation slowly leaving her body she finally allowed herself to take in the current situation.

A sense of contentment overcame her at the thought of Jurina's thoughtfulness. She wasn't used to other people fussing over her, yet something about her girlfriend's devotion never failed to make her feel protected and at ease. A slight blush rose to her cheeks. Being around Jurina always had this effect on her. The amount of care she received from her special person made her believe that nothing in the world could ever harm her.

Musingly she took in the scent as she cuddled deeper into the covers.

As the door cracked open she was met with the view of said person entering the room. The younger girl then ran a hand through her freshly dried hair and Rena couldn't help but feel captivated by the scene. The room's scarce lighting casted shadows over her face which in Rena's opinion made her only look even more alluring. She couldn't exactly put a finger on the reason yet something about their situation made her feel even more attracted to the charming girl than usual.

Jurina's mouth opened to give a lighthearted greeting, yet her smile faded and turned all serious when she noticed Rena staring at her.

"What is it?"

Rena suddenly found her own arms raising and reaching out. Jurina's hands then met her own before she joined her on the bed and pulled the older girl into a gentle hug in return. Silence surrounded them again as they simply indulged in each other's body heat.

Rena drank in Jurina's intoxicating presence as she snuggled into her embrace. The warmth of another human body was drawing her in, surrounding her and left her yearning for even more proximity.

Why is it that she wanted to feel even closer to Jurina?

Right now Rena wanted nothing more than to merge with Jurina, to overcome all boundaries, to belong to Jurina only and for Jurina to belong to her.

Her back was stroked in a tender manner as she nuzzled her nose closer.

Why were even born in separate bodies to begin with?

In that moment alone, undisturbed by everyone, all that mattered was the sound of Jurina's breathing next to her.

Rena had experienced none of this before, yet basking in this warmth felt like the most natural of human needs to her.

Her musings were put to a halt when Jurina pulled back. Rena raised her head and leveled it up to meet to Jurina's gaze. Understanding the unspoken message their bodies reunited as she met with Jurina's silky lips. Slowly brushing against the soft texture the kiss soon grew more frantic before they broke away to allow them to catch their breath again. Calmly Rena allowed her eyes to flutter open again before meeting her intense gaze. Silently observing she felt Jurina move her hand behind Rena's ear to nuzzle her hair lovingly.

"Do you trust me?" Jurina finally murmured barely audible.

"With my heart." Rena nodded slowly while whispering her reply without a second thought.

Jurina leaned her head in, placing a peck on her ear before nibbling on her earlobe gently.

Rena felt her breath catch at the sensual action and settled a hand behind Jurina's back to pull her body even closer.

She felt the hot tickling breath on her ear as a murmur sounded: "Then trust me now."

Jurina continued her loving ministrations as she lowered a trail of kisses down her long neck.

The slightest touch on the hem of her shirt soon turned into a sensation of silkiness as Jurina moved up her hand to gently stroke over the skin of her bare back.

Jurina broke away again before slipping her second hand under the shirt to slowly raise it up. Rena complied and soon felt her bare body exposed as the younger girl pulled the shirt over her head.

Just as she turned unsure how to react to the other girl's scrutinizing looks on her body a small smile tugged on her lips. "You're beautiful". Rena's breath pitched as she felt the other Matsui's lips latch onto her mounds, softly teasing and caressing while her fingertips played with the other one. Rena indulged in the feeling of unfamiliar pleasure as her hand found its way to Jurina's dark locks, softly tangling them. Slowly they lowered their bodies to the bed while Rena pressed her hand softly to the back of Jurina's head in order to not forfeit any proximity.

Rena couldn't help but release the breath she was holding unconsciously as the younger girl continued her sensual ministrations to her chest dutifully.

She did not understand what she was feeling at the moment, yet none of it mattered anymore. All thoughts dissolved into oblivion at the sensation of the hot body moving against her. In response she couldn't help but instinctively bucking her hips closer to Jurina's legs.

Her own hands were sneaking below the other shirt and roaming up shoulder blades. The girl then withdrew to allow Rena to pull up her shirt as well. She was allowed a short moment to take in a glimpse of Jurina's well-toned body before they met in a passionate kiss again. Her breath caught and she felt her bare chest touch her own. Finally the younger girl's head descended even lower before Rena felt a tongue flick over her bellybutton.

In this moment the sensation pooling in her stomach intensified even more and Rena couldn't possibly think of a better description than to call it a need for her mere touch. No doubt was left in her as she felt Jurina stroke along the curves of her waist, roaming, slipping lower and finally removing Rena's shorts.

Rena couldn't suppress a whimper as she clung harder to the younger Matsui's back hopefully. Suddenly Jurina's head went back up to catch her lips in another heated kiss. Rena tried to focus on the sweet texture yet unconsciously moved her hips closer the other girl's warmth again. She was finally rewarded with skilled flicks of fingers playing and teasing her, making her own body twitch in pleasure. Her breath grew even heavier as moans threatened to escape her.

Suddenly Jurina broke the kisses to fixate her dark orbs on Rena. As the unrelenting fingers stopped moving a slight groan escaped her.

"Are you sure of this?" a caring voice asked.

Rena replied breathlessly "I am".

Jurina's head dove in again to bury itself in Rena's sensitive neck. She was no longer able to suppress any indecent sounds as skillful fingers twisted and played again.

She felt vulnerable and exposed, yet incredibly turned on by being at the mercy of the charming girl. Nothing in the world mattered anymore than her loved one being here with her right now. No boundaries were left as her every sense was invaded with Jurina's touch, Jurina's scent and Jurina's mere presence driving her own mind and body insane.

A tongue flicked over her neck as her other hand attacked her chest relentlessly. Soon Jurina picked up the pace while stroking and curling her most sensitive nerves.

Finally Rena's body arched as the onslaught of emotions came washing over here and became one with Jurina.

She could only close her eyes in bliss.

Rena had never felt more fulfilled in her life time.

If only this moment could last forever.

Eventually the lightest touch of a palm gently cupping her cheek brought her consciousness back. "Are you okay?"

Rena opened her eyes again to be met with the younger girl's affectionate stare. Fastening her hand behind Jurina's head she pulled her in for another kiss, this time a much softer one.

"I love you." was all she could express as she tried to regain her breath. Sentences failed to describe the amount of bliss she was feeling right now, yet she hoped these three little words could convey at least a fraction of her affection burning in her chest.

Declarations have long become irrelevant. She wasn't content with just telling Jurina about the ways she yearned for her. Rena wanted to reveal her absolute devotion to her. She wanted to - needed to - show Jurina her innermost feeling.

Her fingers started grazing along Jurina's torso. She gently pushed the girl off her and onto her back, more than determined to return the favor. She wanted to give her everything to Jurina, just as Jurina has given everything to her. Tonight she finally wanted to express all of her true feelings towards her beloved.

A sharp breath was heard as she began descending her own head.

-

Rena's eyes fluttered as a warming ray of sunlight touched her skin and bathed her in warmth. Wanting to bask in the bliss a little longer she sleepily turned her head away from the light and nestled down deeper again. Having found a comfortable position she let out a long-drawn sigh and waited for slumber to take over once more again.

She wasn't aware of how much time had passed, yet eventually she was brought back to reality by the repeated movement of long fingers stroking her hair ever so lazily.

Sluggishly she felt her own head move into the touch. This action finally caused the other figure to take notice of her state of awakening.

"Good morning." she heard Jurina murmur in a quiet yet affectionate manner.

She lifted her head to meet the charming girl's eyes. "Good morning." she replied as a soft smile tucked on her lips.

By instinct their lips found each other again, although in a much more gentle fashion than during the night before.

Eventually she settled down again to rest her head in the crook of her girlfriend's neck as her fingers picked up her loving ministrations again.

"How do you feel?" she heard Jurina inquire fondly.

She couldn't suppress the slightest blush as she remembered the recent events, yet a deep sense of contentment washed over her. Finally she mustered the courage to shape her innermost feelings into an earnest reply: "I want to be like this forever. Here with you."

A light chuckle was her only reply as the couple decided to indulge in this shared moment a little longer.

"If only I could stay with you like this for eternity. I think I would be very happy." Rena continued sincerely, letting a wide smile touch her lips before snuggling in again.


	4. Chapter 4

As the last pink cherry petals ceased to fall, summer slowly came upon Japan. Just like the days were becoming longer and warmer, Rena also began feeling more joyful with her life and more at peace with herself.

Since meeting Jurina under that fated tree she felt that her confidence in herself has been steadily growing. There was something about being loved, about having a special someone only look at you, that makes you burst with energy, feel extraordinary and ultimately gives you a sense of being worth of affection. Not only that Rena learned to feel more at ease with people around her; her peers also seemed to notice a change and started to become more interested in her, as if the air of confidence led to some kind of unconscious attraction.

What was even more fundamental however was the experience of being utterly in love with someone else. It was the first time in Rena's life that she felt this kind of devotion to another human being and consequently she also learned to open up to others as well, to shower them with care and attention instead of trying to live independently and alone.

Little by little she found it easier to get along with her classmates, using the breaks for a small chatter or even going as far as to walk home together. To her surprise she found that she had much more in common with some of them than she thought and even came to enjoy other people's company.

It was also the result of Jurina's persuasion hat Rena finally took courage to enroll in different school clubs. At first she tried to pick up kendo again which she already had been practicing as a child, thus having the advantage of already being familiar with the club activities. Finally she managed to muster the bravery to pay a visit to the acting club. There was indeed something about performing in front of people that she genuinely enjoyed, despite her fear of embarrassing herself. She found this a great opportunity to tackle her own boundaries of shyness and learn to go out in front of others more often.

Surely all of these were just baby steps to someone else, yet Rena was proud that she was progressing into the right direction. It was with Jurina's help that she learned to feel more serene with the world and herself. Overall she found that, little by little, she managed to grow as a human being.

It was until this very moment that Rena had never felt more positive about life.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I can make it tomorrow, my parents asked me to help out again. I'll text you once we're done. Sleep well, Rena-chan."

Although she refused to admit it she couldn't help but feel her heart sink a little as she read the mail. Reminding herself to get a grip she started typing the reply. "I understand. Take care, Jurina. Good night." She clicked the phone shut and placed it on the nightstand.

As the school year was progressing however Jurina's schedule grew more and more restricted. It was only natural for a girl in the third year of middle school to be busy with all kinds of exams for the transition to high school. Jurina's social life however seemed even more bustling than the average student's, keeping her busy as she was trying to accommodate all of her clubs, her training for athletics competitions, various friends and the support at her parents' own company. While she still tried to make it to their shared lunch breaks in school together, Rena found it yet harder to spend time together with her.

She had to admit that she felt a little lonely at times, yet she refused to be that clingy girlfriend attacking her with constant text messages and phone calls. After all she could understand that Jurina's life did not exclusively revolve around hers. She tried to make the most of it and was determined to use her free time to improve her grades while at the same time indulge in her own club activities.

They may have little time together right now but as a result Rena came to value the small opportunities even more. The lunches in school, small gestures of love, the shared nights together…

She shut her eyes and let herself sink into the softness of the pillow. Memories came rushing over as she remembered the last time Jurina was in this very place with her. Gentle touches roaming, heated kisses, whispers of sweet nothings and finally huddling together under the covers with bare skin pressed together.

Cuddled in a blissful aftermath, it was then when Rena verbalized her own doubts for the first time.

"Jurina, am I a bother to you?"

The touch in her hair came to a halt for a moment before resuming its stroking motion.

"What makes you say that?"

Rena bit her lip as she tried to voice what had been bothering her for a while.

"You seem busy a lot. Even in school it's rare...for us to meet."

Jurina broke the embrace and faced Rena.

"I'm sorry, these competitions ended up taking more time than I expected." A gentle palm started cupping her cheek. "I'll make up for it, it's a promise."

It was her trademark smile and these stunning eyes which had made her fall for Jurina in the first place. Even in this moment now Rena couldn't help but feel persuaded all over again by the faintest smile of her lover.

She very much wanted to believe that things would get better. She wanted to stop questioning herself, yet she couldn't help but notice that Jurina had changed. Was it really her stressful private life that kept her too busy? Was the so-called honeymoon phase already over and they were now approaching a much more realistic stage of a relationship?

Rena wanted to figure things out, to tackle the problems, to make it work for the two of them. But how was she supposed to know the mystical ways of love? Shouldn't relationships work differently? It's not like she could count on any prior experience. The only advice she could rely on was her manga, yet she disputed they would portray reality in an accurate way.

And still, Rena couldn't help but doubt.

In the beginning of their relationship Jurina suggested that they might keep it subtle in school as some of her fangirls tend to get a bit… obsessive. Having witnessed the scene at the track Rena immediately agreed that it might cause too much of a ruckus. Besides, she wasn't all that set on displaying public affection either. Nevertheless she wondered what it must be like to not hide away from the world, to openly declare your affection to your beloved and to claim each other as your own. Again she tried very much to suppress these feelings, calling them nonsensical, and yet there was this tinge of sadness which clutched her heart every time she thought about Jurina. She was used to being a loner all life long, so why was is now that solitude felt this suffocating to her?

Jurina had skipped their shared lunch. Again.

She wanted to - needed to - act. Rena wanted to meet Jurina again, even if just for a short moment. She missed that charming Cheshire smile of hers, that well-defined face, that protective aura that surrounded her every being. She wanted to throw her arms around her, to be hold safely, to press their lips together and forget about the world around them for just a second.

She took a deep breath as she entered the middle school building. It was foolish, it was crazy and against all reason, yet she felt overpowered by her own feelings. She did not know what she expected to find, she did not know whether she was even able to track down Jurina doing the break, yet even the shortest glimpse of the other girl would make her more than blessed right now.

Tentatively she stepped into the hallway, well aware how out of place she looked with her high school uniform. Judging from the signs she must have reached Jurina's classroom. Rounding the corner she took a careful peak inside.

There she was. In her classroom, eating a Bento, but not alone. She was too engrossed sharing her lunch with another girl Rena did not recognize. She couldn't have been staring for more than a few seconds, but still something about the scene irked her. A lot. Suddenly Jurina raised her hand to stroke away a grain of rice from the other girl's lips. In a way too gentle manner, as Rena found. In a foolish hasty moment, she decided to intervene.

"Jurina."

She was met with shocked eyes as Jurina retreated her fingers abruptly.

Here she was, stuck in a rather awkward situation without any plan how to act or to proceed. Judging from Jurina's startled look she very much felt the same. "Rena-chan, what are you….?"

It was however the other girl that decided to interrupt.

"You…"

She abruptly rose from her seat and rushed over to her in fury. Rena felt herself backing away by instinct. They had never met before, yet her gaze spoke of nothing but disgust and anger towards her. How could she have made her this upset when she doesn't even now that strange girl?

She stopped a few centimeters from her face. "Leave her alone already, she is not yours! Just stop destroying everything!"

Rena remained speechless and confused from the rage she was receiving. She looked over to the girl's shoulder towards Jurina, yet her girlfriend wouldn't even meet her eyes. Unable to handle this situation any longer she excused herself and ran off. "I'm sorry for interrupting."

Oblivious to all curious stares she fled from the middle school building.

To say it was awkward was the understatement of the year. Jurina and her have neither phoned nor exchanged mails since that day and this very fact made Rena feel even more sick in the stomach. She was left confused and wanted to have an explanation for the scene she witnessed. She was torn between hoping for a simple reason and expecting the worst. Was she overreacting, was the other girl just some friend of Jurina's? Then why didn't Jurina bother to contact her anymore? Was this why Jurina barely ever bothered to make time for her anymore? Were other people much more interesting to her now?

Again she scolded herself for her own negative approach on the matter. But how was she supposed to trust her heart when her eyes tell her differently?

Paying attention in school was simply beyond her ability on that day. Class or break, it was all the same to her as she sluggishly gazed out of the window.

A deep sigh escaped her. Eventually she mustered the energy to gather the school supplies spread out on top of the table and prepare for the next class. In a state of daydreaming she started to close the binder when suddenly a stinging pain on her finger brought her back to reality. She had just managed to cut herself on the paper.

She cursed her own stupidity as a drop of blood started trickling down. Just as she was about to retrieve a tissue from her bag a warm hand gently covered her wrist.

"Let me look at that."

A shock overcame her as she recognized that voice. She raised her head to be met with that familiar dimple-plastered face furrowing in concern. "Jurina….?"

"It's just a straight cut, it will heal fast."

She didn't even have time to process the happenings as Jurina abruptly latched her lips around the finger and started to gently suck the blood off.

Rena felt her own heartbeat hammering in her chest. She could not comprehend what was going on, yet something about this particular scene, about Jurina gently caressing her finger with her tongue, felt immensely sensual and intimate to her. Even after all the ruckus she could not deny that she was still incredibly attracted to the younger girl and that her every action rendered her own body weak. For a short moment the world around her ceased to exist as she enjoyed the simple pleasure she was receiving by this very action.

Finally Jurina broke away and met her eyes again. Neither of them did know how to reply and as their hands were still gently brushing against each other.

Rena simply wanted to gaze into these dark orbs forever.

The usually so confident younger girl then spoke up again in a hesitating manner. "Rena, really. You are too careless for your own good…"

She was not quite able to grasp the meaning behind these words. In other circumstances, she would have thought that Jurina looked unusually melancholic and sad. Or was it just her own imagination again? Captivated by the moment however her mind remained unable to process the situation anymore.

"Jurina, why are you….?"

She never received a reply. Jurina gave her a last lingering look and left the room. Just to catch the hand of another waiting girl and run off together.

Rena was left staring. Nothing made sense to her anymore.

She was oblivious to the whispers around her as classmates had witnessed the unusual scene.

"Another one…"

Whom could she even trust anymore?

Whom could she confide in?

How was she supposed to deal with all of this confusion inside her heart?

It was foolish as it was desperate, yet Rena decided to track down the only person that could shed some light on this whole situation. She needed answers, it was simply beyond her to endure this madness any longer.

Disregarding all stares she walked straight into their classroom. She knew that Jurina wouldn't be there since she had training on this afternoon. That is, if she was honest about this thing at least. But this time it wasn't Jurina she was looking for.

As she barged into the classroom, the person in question immediately met her eyes. In a more quiet moment she would have compared her to a bird by her aura alone. She had assumed she would be here, she seemed to be a classmate of Jurina's; that's how she caught them here.

She also expected nothing but harshness from her.

Just like on that dreadful day the girl came rushing over to her, spitting words of hate and distrust. "What do you want? Can't you just leave me alone? You ruined everything!"

"I need to talk to you. About Jurina." Rena didn't let herself influence by the anger she was receiving.

Maybe it was her pleading eyes that finally did the trick, but the other girl let out a deep frustrated sigh before grabbing Rena's arm and leading her to a more secluded school area.

"What do you want?" she demanded harshly.

"I need an explanation. About Jurina and you…"

Bird girl only let out a guffaw.

"What do you even want me to say? It was all great until you came along."

Rena stared at her blankly.

"She dumped me yesterday. Probably off to find some new toy."

Rena felt her body go numb. "What do you mean?"

"My friends try to warn me. Just simply to fall for the biggest pimp in school and expect her to turn her whole life around just for you." Her gaze dropped. "I honestly thought I would be different. I know I would never be able to stop her advances towards other, yet when she met you-"

"What are you saying? What's the meaning of all of this?" Rena interrupted her, the trouble in her eyes all too evident.

Bird girl met her eyes again, started to reply but closed her mouth again. Realization was dawning upon her eyes. "You mean you really don't know?"

"About what?"

She let her gaze trail off. "We're both fools, aren't we?"

Rena stared.

"You don't seem as dull as the others. So why do we let our heart cloud our better judgment?" She paused again, lost in deep thought.

"So, you want to know the truth about Jurina?"

A weak nod was all Rena could muster.

"Tomorrow at 9 p.m.-….. You are new to Nagoya, so there is a certain club you should know about…"


	5. Chapter 5

"Jurina."

In a state of paralyzation she only managed to turn her head.

It was Rena. And judging from the look on her face the truth had begun to sink in. She felt her mind go numb.

How could she have been so foolish? How could she ever believe she would get away with her games if only she denied it long enough? She wanted to think that there could be a peaceful way out for them. Secretly she had even hoped that she wouldn't hurt Rena even more than she already did.

How ridiculous of her. How disgusting.

Her lips moved on their own. "Rena-chan, what are you…?"

She wasn't even able to proceed as Churi suddenly rushed up to Rena, shouting at her in anger, blaming her.

The shock still hadn't left her body. Turning her head away from the happenings was all she was capable of at the moment. Jurina needed to avoid her gaze at all cost, she simply couldn't meet her eyes like this. She didn't want to become aware of the pain she was causing with her thoughtless actions.

Rena stormed off, leaving her immobile and frozen.

-

Jurina used to enjoy all of this - it used to be nothing more than a game to her. She had no illusions; she was well aware that she was more than decent-looking. She took pride in her body and committed herself to the goal of keeping in shape. She was also more than aware of how easy it was to win over a girl's heart if only she tried.

She was young and had no intention to keep committed to a relationship forever. To her the thrill of the hunt was part of the game. Courting, seducing and finally succeeding was what kept her entertained, but sometimes all she yearned for was simply the proximity of another human body at night.

Why was is that everything felt meaningless to her now? What was this emptiness she was feeling inside?

Matsui Rena was different and up to this day she wasn't able to pinpoint the exact reason. Being with her had changed something inside her and things simply haven't been the same since.

It was coincidence, their first meeting in school. Rena was a fair-skinned beauty yet wasn't seemingly outstanding in any field. Perhaps it was her polite and gentle nature which attracted Jurina and made her want to watch over her, to guide her, to protect her. Maybe however Jurina unconsciously saw something in her, a potential, the possibility to be something great.

It didn't matter since the next step was only natural to her. She didn't have to think twice about it as she asked Rena out for a date. She had done it several times before and she was so very aware that the attraction was not one-sided. She wanted to get closer to Rena at all cost.

It was during their day at the mall that she learned that there was much more to Rena than she thought. She couldn't exactly name it, yet the more time she spent with Rena, the more she became drawn in. Whether it was her uncharacteristically outspoken nature or her little quirks that made her even more lovable - Jurina really thought that she was nothing like the other girls at school. To her, the gentle girl was really something else and nothing like the princess-like appearance she gave off at first. Poor Rena might never ever realize the effect she could have on other people.

Perhaps it was already that day when it stopped being a mere game to Jurina. She was no longer a protagonist in a stage play as her pretense had already become reality. She genuinely enjoyed spending time with Rena and wanted to be closer to her. Slowly it become like an addiction and if asked later on, she might have concluded that she had already totally and hopelessly fallen for the other Matsui at that point of time.

Then why was it so difficult dealing with these kinds of feelings? Why was is so hard to change her habits? For the first time during her school life she felt honestly miserable. It was the greatest of feelings that could also totally destroy her within a second and make her feel like the lowest being on Earth.

Jurina kept reminding herself that it was only a game. As time passed she tried returning to her old ways, going out with other girls to make her life normal again in an attempt to stop feeling remorse.

Rena's presence simply became too much for her to handle. She was conflicted; the more she pushed the other girl away, the more she yearned for her mere touch. Weak pathetic excuses were all she could give to her, yet she wasn't ready to give her up.

Guilt consumed her and still she returned to other girls over and over again, longing for meaningless flirts, kisses and nights spend together as she tried to replace Rena, to forget, to go back to normal again.

Why bother with a futile matter? Who would ever be able to love her, knowing her true self?

-

Jurina tried to suppress it, she didn't want to give in to the guilt. It has been like this long before Rena came around, and she did not owe anyone to change her ways.

Then why did it sting so much? She simply wanted nothing more than to meet Rena again, to talk to her, to explain herself, yet how could she even say anything to make it right again when it was so obviously not?

Days passed as Jurina was still unable to work out the confusion in her mind, yet she again tried to return to her usual lifestyle. On that particular day she was supposed to meet up with an "acquaintance" of hers. Unluckily enough, she had to head over the high schooler's building for this matter. She should have been smarter than that.

So why did she end up here again? At the door to Rena's class room, staring at the lonesome girl who was lost in thought herself. Rena certainly did not realize it, and perhaps neither did many other people, yet there was something alluring to the girl's aura that drew people in a much more subtle, quiet way. She was neither extroverted nor outgoing, yet the way she often liked to separate herself from the world and stare in nothing in particular foreshadowed that she had much more wisdom to share than most talkative people. Even Jurina couldn't help but feel attracted by the mystery that was Matsui Rena.

Right in this moment Jurina would have been more than happy to simply stare at her like this forever, without ever being touched or noticed herself.

A slight hiss of pain brought her attention back to the real world as she noticed that Rena had accidentally cut herself. Without thinking twice Jurina was with her in an instant. She gently grabbed her wrist to inspect the wound. "Let me look at that."

There it was again. Being like this with Rena felt like the most natural thing ever to her. Without hesitating she started gently sucking the blood off that was tainting the smooth pale skin. After lingering for a moment she finally met her deep brown eyes again.

Reality kicked in way too hard. The look of confusion and pain yet with the slightest remainder of hope in her gaze pierced her own soul, it absolutely destroyed her. She felt a lump in her throat, rendering her unable to speak up of fear she might lose all control. A deeply unsettling feeling swelled up inside her so she tried to suppress it, to push the blame away. And still, all that was left to her was to acknowledge the guilt she felt towards this girl she had come to care about so much. She deserved better, she deserved to be protected and cherished for eternity, not to be played around with like this. Why had she foolishly trusted someone like Jurina?

Gathering her energy she could only come up with a single reply: "Rena, really. You are too careless for your own good…"

She was too honest. Perhaps for the first time ever, she thought cynically.

The more she tried to resist, the closer she felt the abyss upon her. A voice by the door finally pulled her out of her musings. It was ironically the arrival of the other girl she was scheduled to meet with that finally gave her the chance to escape, her last lifeline at the moment. She walked over to her, running away once more, leaving Rena all alone again.

'I'm sorry, Rena-chan.'

-

Jurina needed to numb that feeling once and for all. Every time she harbored the slightest hope of making things right with Rena again, she got overwhelmed by the realization that she had already done way too much damage. All that was left to her was to cut the ties for good and forget about her all together.

Tonight she felt like going out. She hadn't been here in a while but this place was where she could truly be herself. It was a certain night club that was famous among "like-minded" girls and rather notorious for its lack of, well, social restraints and morals. Some might go as far as to call it a hunting ground.

Her smirk only twitched indecently as she noticed two girls lowering herself to one of the beds in the corner. Jurina knew both of them, after all this place was no secret to a few assorted girls at her school. It was indeed a safe haven to leave the prim and proper mask behind and free yourself from all judgment and social pressure.

She sipped on her drink at the bar. Tonight she aimed to be free as well, detached from the world and everything outside. Searchingly she let her eyes roam. Looks like the club indeed gained some new faces since the last time she visited, and she admitted that some of them were more than decent-looking. Tempting, or so she used to think. Regrettably she found it harder today to ease her mind, but she was sure that another drink or two could help her with that.

"Do you want to dance?" a hot breath sounded in her ear and she felt an arm sling around her shoulders. It was Matsurina after all who convinced her to come here tonight. She could be subtle in her words yet so very blunt in her behavior. If was no secret what she usually asked from Jurina. No commitment, no questions asked; it was just the way Jurina liked it. Until a few months ago, that is.

"Not in the mood, sorry."

"You really need to de-stress, J." she whispered as she moved her lips closer, plastering her cheek with light kissed. She wanted to give in to the sensation as Matsurina's lips found her own. Smooth texture was brushing giving her a tingling feeling inside, just like during these nights spent with Rena. Jurina couldn't help but feel herself respond and soon the kiss grew more intense. A hand was stroking her collarbone and started wandering downwards as her own arms wrapped around her waist. She couldn't help but remember what it was like to share these feelings with Rena. Being with her always was more than a mere satisfaction of simple body needs. She acted not for her own sake but for Rena's well-being; she wanted to keep her in her arms forever and to be close to her.

A hand slipped below her top. They broke the kiss only to take a deep breath before meeting again. In this moment Jurina couldn't help but imagine Rena's scent, Rena's skin, Rena's voice-...

"Matsui Jurina."

Said person flinched.

Rena's voiced, she would have recognized it everywhere, even among the bustle and the music. Was she actually some demon, fated to hunt her down forever? There she stood across her, eyes filled with anger, disgust even. How could she even know about this place?

"I hate you." was all she said before she ran off.

Cursing her own existence once more her feet moved on their own. "Rena-chan, wait!" she called as she left everything behind.

She stepped outside only to be greeted with a downpour, just like that night. The first night she had given her everything to Rena. What a bittersweet irony. 'Damn, where is she?' she thought as she rushed through the alleys.

"Matsui!"

A flat hand slapping her across the face was her reward. She held her reddening cheek as she faced the attacker in the rain. "Churi? What are you doing here?"

The girl's face remained stoic.

Realization hit her like a truck. "You told her." was all she could state.

"I would have given up my everything for you. I wanted to be the one for you. Yet when she came around…" Churi hesitated for a moment to control her voice again. "You haven't been the same since. She is messing with your mind, don't you see it?" she continued.

How could Jurina even deny anything of what was said to her right now? The day had already taken its toll on her and she felt herself crumble. "I didn't mean to." she admitted. "I didn't know it would happen this way." Was she mentally talking to Churi or Rena at the moment?

"You deserve it; you deserve to be despised by her."

Agitated she rushed over to her. "Churi, I didn't mean to-" She was roughly pushed off. "Stay away from me." Churi exclaimed and stormed off.

She sank to the ground, not minding her soaked clothes anymore. She did it again, she had hurt someone. She cursed herself for being so pathetic when tears began to well. Battered, broken and drenched, she simply couldn't sink any lower right now.

Perhaps it was only fair for her to lose everything in the end.

Someone stepped up in front of her. Jurina raised her head. It was Rena, drenched from the rain just like during that night. To Jurina she had simply never looked more beautiful.

"Rena-chan…"

"Why?" Her expression remained unreadable as she asked the plain question.

"..."

"Did I ever mean anything to you in the first place?"

"You meant the world to me." she responded truthfully.

Another slap across the cheek was all she received. 'Was this becoming a habit now?' she thought cynically. Her charming qualities aside Jurina actually felt that she had never been good at words.

Rena spoke up again: "I trusted you. With my heart." Those words were simple and yet hurt even deeper. 'With my heart.' - the very thing she said that night. What could she even reply at this point? How could she even explain herself to Rena when she didn't understand herself either? What could she mutter except weak excuses?

Remaining on the ground she lowered her gaze, unable to face the other girl any longer.

'Look at yourself, Matsui, you're pathetic.' is what she told herself and what she fully expected Rena to speak out loud. Yet none of this happened.

Rena sank to her knees. Gentle hands cupped her cheeks, guiding Jurina's face to meet her eyes. The younger Matsui couldn't help but feel awestruck by the scene. That girl was always perceived as weak by others. But here she was like this, drenched and huddled, yet her eyes so full of emotions, looking the most admirable being she had ever seen. It no longer surprised her how she could have fallen for her so easily. In reality Rena was an outstanding young woman with an immense potential and a so much better human being than Jurina herself. She had been cheated on, played with, but here she was, degrading herself to deal with Jurina's pitiful existence.

She was forced to look her into the eyes. "Why?" she repeated her question almost inaudibly, yet her eyes reflected her soul more clearly than ever.

It was in that single moment that something inside Jurina broke loose. "I thought you were like the others." she admitted while fighting to keep her voice steady. "But ever since that day at the mall I didn't understand myself anymore."

Rena remained silent.

"I wanted more. I wanted you. You were nothing like them, you are remarkable. I really loved since back then but I didn't know how to handle these feelings."

Slim fingers stroked cheeks slightly.

"I wanted to ignore these emotions, to go back to my old life. I met with others girls, trying to forget." she sobbed. "But it wasn't the same anymore. I know I don't deserve to be trusted, but my feelings towards you have never been anything but serious. I love you and I still want to be with you."

A heavy silence descended upon them. She felt Rena's hands pull away and she stood up.

"How can I ever trust you again?" she asked quietly.

The truth hurt far more than the slap could ever do.

A sudden wave of awareness rushed over Jurina. This was it, the moment of decision. She knew that if she let Rena leave now she would lose her forever. She wanted to be together with her, she didn't want to give in.

Jurina bit her lip in desperation. Guilt be damned.

Rising from the ground quickly she threw her arms around the older Matsui and pulled her in for a kiss. She didn't care anymore how badly she might get beaten up for this.

Rena was too shocked to react and Jurina moved her lips against hers, gently sliding her arms around her waist. Jurina couldn't tell whether it was the rain or their tears hitting her face at that moment. It hold no importance to her as she sensed Rena's breath against her face and as Rena's scent surrounded her amidst the rain. In a moment of total commitment she put all her feelings into the kiss.

She felt Rena respond to her.

Both were out of breath as they finally faced each other again. "You idiot." was all Rena could say between her sobs. This time something was different about her voice. "It's okay if you hate me." Jurina replied chokingly.

Suddenly Rena threw her arms around Jurina, burying her neck into her shoulder. "I don't hate you, I love you so much."

Jurina couldn't even stop her own tears flowing. "I love you too. I'm sorry for everything, I will make it better." They both had long forgotten about the rain.

She had no clue how long they had stayed in this warm embrace as the night sky began to clear up and the downpour stopped. Jurina pulled back from the hug and stroked Rena's cheek softly. "I will make it work. I will prove it to you, I promise."

Rena only nodded as she smiled through her tears. "I want to be with you forever, let's work on this together." She looked like nothing short of an angel right now and Jurina couldn't help but beam back.

She felt Rena gently entwine their fingers, encouraging her to follow along. "Let's go home."

From now on Jurina is never going to let go of that hand again. Their love hasn't been one-sided after all.


End file.
